...didn't behave. It took on a life of its own, and now it's 9pm, and I have been working in the kitchen for more than 12 hours on my precious day to myself.
I feel cranky at myself about the chutney. When one makes jam, "they" say that one should make separate small batches -- as per the recipe -- and avoid doubling. I never understood the logic of that, but -- again and again -- my biggest preserving problems come when I try to handle too much.
Today I chopped those green tomatoes and came up with 6.5 pounds of them! I didn't know I had that many left. That meant I had to quardruple the recipe... I knew better, but I did it anyway. (I just wanted to be fucking done with the green tomatoes, okay?)
The ingredients filled my biggest stock pot to the very brim, and I had to remove five cups of tomatoes and apples in order to put the spice bag in. I had to simmer the beast all day long on low-low-low so that it wouldn't boil over onto the stove (but it did anyway! joy!).
It was so full that I had to watch the pot most of the day. There was an hour or two when it was still cooking down when I could walk away, and I tackled the linen closet during that period. (Yay me!)
But HELLO... this was my very special day for myself! I wanted to make sauerkraut and chutney, but I didn't think it would take until it was dark again! The only sunlight I got was during the three times I took heaving tubs of vegetable/fruit matter to the compost pile.
I tried to watch a movie in between the hub-bub at the stove. I've been wanting to see Little Children because I'm a fan of Todd Field (director) and Kate Winslet, but I had to turn it off. I couldn't handle watching a woman unable to parent her child -- not today, not any day soon -- because I doubt my own parenting skills profoundly. Maybe I can watch the film with D sometime, but I'm sending it back to Netflix for awhile.
What is wrong with me? I want to honor the fruit and the vegetable bounty. I want to do right by the good food that comes to us. I wanted to make something amazing out of green tomatoes.
I have no idea if I succeeded. It's a funny chutney. Maybe it's a bomb. But my day is gone, and those jars are there. I don't know what it means, though.