growing curious

and delirious over...

I meant to add that I'm delirious over the radish greens and various brassica raabs we've been eating here.  I made a simple pesto with any green or flower I could find in the garden with a lot of garlic, lemon, and a bit of olive oil.  I've been eating it at every opportunity.  radish greens are our friends.

sad/happy

I've had a hard week.  Members of my extended family aren't doing well on different levels.  The Curious Farm business has been exciting and challenging and has squeezed me to the limit, as most new business ventures will do.  It's been frustrating to feel viscerally how our family dynamics need to change in order to accomodate this business.  Is it worth it?  I'm not sure yet, actually.  My computer is seriously broken so I'm unable to communicate easily on my websites or on twitter.  Friends are busy and are as stretched as I am in different ways.

But.  I try to keep my focus on the present and on the positive so here are some things that have made me happy this week:

--There are snow peas on the vines.  A few.  They are there.  It's midsummer's eve.  Okay, I'll take it.

--Though the front landscaping is shot to pieces because I haven't been able to tend it at all this year, the vegetable garden has begun to produce, and -- though it's a shadow of last year's glory -- I'm thrilled.

--I sold out of the first tonic kraut I brought to the Beaverton Farmers Market.  I was worried about how it would turn out because I didn't know if therapeutic amounts of turmeric would turn bitter during fermentation, but I loved how it tasted and other people did, too.  I can't wait to make a more high-powered version tomorrow (which will be ready in August!).  There's a bit more left from the first batch that I'll bring to the Market this Saturday, in case you're interested.

--I managed to clean thoroughly two bathrooms this week.  A miracle.

--D's aunt sent me a letter and said she was proud of me.

--I know that it's all going to be okay.  Nothing will be perfect, but I can depend on finding joy in simple things.

 

 

 

on to something...

There have been hundreds of frustrations.  My friend P calls the disintegration of the landscaping out front as a "start-up cost."  The shower has needed cleaning for a long time, and D is learning to cook, but...

I am happy.

I have worked 12 - 16 hours every day for more than three months (except for three days during that time when I just felt too broken to continue).    I have pages and pages of to-do lists that eventually get checked off.  D has been a saint in helping me with his clear thinking and engineering background.

This is working.  Sort of.  I mean...  there are customers, and they come back for more.  And they are nice, and it's fun to talk to them, and by the end of a Saturday, I feel exhausted and hopeful.

Mostly, though, I'm thinking right now about the hard production end of this experiment.

So far, I have worked through almost 1000 pounds of produce in order to create my products.  Most of that is fermenting right now because customers have been frustrated with me for selling out so I've been trying to increase production.

But 1000 pounds of produce...  I have worked through that since March, when I was accepted into the Beaverton Farmers Market.  I am so tired.  The sauerkraut takes two months to ferment, and the kimchi takes two weeks.  Those fermentation times complicate production right now because everything is new, and I have no idea what people will like.

But I am happy.  As much as I dread making a 30 pound batch of sauerkraut when my feet hurt and there are a hundred other things to do, I love the cabbage.  It makes me happy.  I cut pieces of the cabbage and think, "Wow...  that there is going to crunch just right." 

The vegetables *still* make me happy.  They recharge me.  I still love doing this even though I recognize I need more breaks and rest.  I love celebrating the vegetables in this way.