open sesame

E has a stuffed Ernie and Bert from Sesame Street.  She seems to like Bert best, which I think is really interesting.  Yesterday I was telling her that I feel a lot like Ernie -- silly, laugh in funny ways, like to play, a little awkward and day-dreamy-ish.  But D was sitting there listening to me, and I realized that I'll bet he sees me more as a Bert -- someone who gets uptight when the house is messy or who loses his sense of humor sometimes.

It made me sad and made me think...  there really is a big disconnect between how I feel on the inside and how I act on the outside.

So I'm on a mission to integrate, individuate, and celebrate my inner Bert and inner Ernie.  Both characters embody important elements of my psyche, and it's time to let them both have equal play in my life.  D needs to see more of Ernie in me.  I perhaps need to use Bert's orderliness more in my inner world instead of always in my outer world...  if that makes any sense.  (My inner/creative life can be pretty unruly sometimes!)

Up next:  how to come to terms with my inner Grover.