I am a 42-year-old mother of a 2-year-old.
My husband is patient but busy and preoccupied. He works hard for us. Sometimes he asks me what I need, but I haven't the heart to tell him.
Right now I am sick. The quantity of snot coming out of me requires paper towel, not kleenex. The paper towel makes my skin bleed so I look extra wretched right now.
Poor E just wants to say NO! to everything. I want to affirm her, but I mostly want her to do what I say. Sometimes I carry her to the bathroom to get cleaned up, despite her protests.
I think I'm a good mom, but I don't think I'm a fun mom these days. It would help if my snot-nose didn't look so much like a wound. But E likes to kick and scream about most everything. She didn't want to kiss me goodnight tonight.
She still sleeps like a dream, but man... the days are hard sometimes.
I'm tired, and I need to fill my own well, too. It's just hard these days. Old friends are busy with new jobs and family demands. New friends are moving or are busy with their adult lives. My own extended family members are busy and preoccupied with their own lives and don't seem to have time to share with us, despite my warm requests.
Sometimes, in the middle of playing, E will talk very vividly about her friend S (who is moving in a couple of weeks) or her grandparents (who are very preoccupied right now), and I don't know what to say to her. S is a really sweet girl, and we'll have to figure out how to help two two-year-olds maintain a long-distance connection. With the grandparents, sometimes we just go up for an unplanned visit and deal with the consequences, but we've done that too much lately. There hasn't been reciprocation.
I am not sure what is keeping my parents from being more involved in E's life. I can only imagine what's in their minds. But the child WANTS to connect with them, and I don't know what I should do to make things easier for everyone.
Meanwhile, the snot just flows. I'm so tired.
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