...didn't behave. It took on a life of its own, and now it's 9pm, and I have been working in the kitchen for more than 12 hours on my precious day to myself.
It looks intense and glorious, doesn't it? Well, please think good thoughts that it tastes that way in a month.
I feel cranky at myself about the chutney. When one makes jam, "they" say that one should make separate small batches -- as per the recipe -- and avoid doubling. I never understood the logic of that, but -- again and again -- my biggest preserving problems come when I try to handle too much.
Today I chopped those green tomatoes and came up with 6.5 pounds of them! I didn't know I had that many left. That meant I had to quardruple the recipe... I knew better, but I did it anyway. (I just wanted to be fucking done with the green tomatoes, okay?)
The ingredients filled my biggest stock pot to the very brim, and I had to remove five cups of tomatoes and apples in order to put the spice bag in. I had to simmer the beast all day long on low-low-low so that it wouldn't boil over onto the stove (but it did anyway! joy!).
It was so full that I had to watch the pot most of the day. There was an hour or two when it was still cooking down when I could walk away, and I tackled the linen closet during that period. (Yay me!)
But HELLO... this was my very special day for myself! I wanted to make sauerkraut and chutney, but I didn't think it would take until it was dark again! The only sunlight I got was during the three times I took heaving tubs of vegetable/fruit matter to the compost pile.
I tried to watch a movie in between the hub-bub at the stove. I've been wanting to see Little Children because I'm a fan of Todd Field (director) and Kate Winslet, but I had to turn it off. I couldn't handle watching a woman unable to parent her child -- not today, not any day soon -- because I doubt my own parenting skills profoundly. Maybe I can watch the film with D sometime, but I'm sending it back to Netflix for awhile.
What is wrong with me? I want to honor the fruit and the vegetable bounty. I want to do right by the good food that comes to us. I wanted to make something amazing out of green tomatoes.
I have no idea if I succeeded. It's a funny chutney. Maybe it's a bomb. But my day is gone, and those jars are there. I don't know what it means, though.
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