do i laugh...

...or cry?    

This morning I had coffee with my cousin and said goodbye.  He will die on Saturday morning.

While we were standing in line at the coffee shop, he braced himself on his oxygen tank.  An old co-worker of his wandered in and hugged him, asked him how he's doing, and then pointed at me and asked, "Is this your mom?"

My cousin was so flustered that he called me his aunt.  Everything felt so surreal.  I told her, "I'm actually his cousin and younger than him, but I feel very old today.  Thank you."

There has been a mountain of unbloggable stuff happening in my life lately.  I'm trying to figure out how to package up bits of it so that I can share here.

I'm very, very, very tired.

Comments

[Cynthia]

thinking of you Cathy..... Judis social worker kept referring to her as my mother instead of my sister...feels odd....

[Lisa]

Im sorry Cathy. My thoughts are with you and your cousin. Its heartbreaking that he has to go so young, but Im glad he has the power to make his own decisions and close his life on his terms. Im glad you got a chance for coffee and some conversation.

Sorry about that lady with the big mouth. I think youre beautiful.

[nyjlm]

oh sweets. sending you love and hugs.