things

This is not one of those 100-things list because there won't be 100 things here.

• I hate the smell of band-aids.  They make me want to faint or vomit.

• Not a week goes by when I don't read something about or by someone I have met or known somehow.  Usually, I have this experience two or three times a week.  Granted, they might not remember me, but I have known some folks.  There was a weird issue of Vanity Fair last year that had pictures in it of a few people with whom I have worked professionally, and the same issue included an article written by someone who came to a few of my parties in NYC.

• I am really angry at my mother-in-law right now and don't feel the composure needed to explain myself or try to break through her hearing/cognitive difficulties to explain myself to her.  This is unlike me.

• I fight paranoia every day.  My parents were spies, and their paranoia became part of the family disease.  I think I do pretty well in fighting it most of the time.  But this isn't something I can get a girl-scout patch for, and it's also weird to include this information in a stray blog post.

• I can't afford to keep my apothecary stocked this year, and I don't care so much.  A year ago, the unstocked herb closet would have made me panic.  So I was wondering to myself, Am I less interested in herbs now?  What's my problem?  I decided I have no problem.  I am busy working with herbs that grow in my backyard, and I'm learning their bountiful strengths.  I'm not making medicine for others right now -- just this family.  (Message to D:  But this doesn't mean I won't order herbs from elsewhere in the future!)

• I often expect to die tomorrow.  Most of the time, I'm not worried about that.  But it makes it hard to make plans, I guess.

• my cousin, who is my age, just became a grandma last week, and they're all happy and thriving.